All the Same in Death
by Historyexplorer12
Summary: For the day of Alexander's death. Alexander realizes his own fate. Disclaimer: Characters are not mine! Warnings: implied Major Character death, swearing, rated T for safety, may be in wrong genres


**AN: For the day of Alexander's death. Hope you all enjoy!**

Alexander went about his business after Hephaestion died, which consisted of drinking and shirking his duties as King and husband. He felt guilty for his lover's death, and yet he could not remember just how long it had been since that awful day. And yet he could not fault himself for feeling this way, as all of his other closest Companions were mourning as well.

Ptolemy, as Hephaestion's closest friend other than Alexander, sat upon his bed in shock. When he did leave his private chambers, he spoke to no one and seemed to stare at nothing. Nearchus did not laugh anymore, and seemed to never move from the dining hall table. Even Cassander was in mourning, although his grief made itself known in much more violent bursts than anyone else's.

The sadness that hung in the air permeated everyone in the palace it seemed. Alexander could not understand why. Yes, Hephaestion was beloved by most, if not all, that knew him, but these collective tears and cries of emotional pain went far beyond that. Why, Alexander did not know. He couldn't remember. All he was able to discern was that Hephaestion was missed, and not only by himself.

Somber at the thought of being without his Heart, Alexander wandered the halls of the palace. It was not long until he came upon his own rooms. Hearing quiet weeping within, Alexander was concerned for whoever was mourning, and so entered the room. Bagoas was knelt by the bed with his face buried in the bedcovers, sobbing. Alexander immediately went to comfort him and put a hand on his shoulder.

He was stunned when his hand seemed to pass through him, and even when he tried to do it again, it had the same result. Then he heard Bagoas talking aloud.

"Oh, Eskandar…" He choked on his words, unable to continue.

Stunned that Bagoas was crying for him, and not knowing why, because he was right beside him, Alexander finally looked up. And screamed in shock, although no one seemed to hear him. There he lay upon the bed as if asleep. However, his skin had already begun to gray with the shroud of Death.

Recovering minutely, his body and voice shook as he tried to make sense of the scene before him as Hephaestion appeared by his side, "I-I do not understand…"

"You poisoned yourself, Alexander. You drank yourself to death after I came to Hades. By the time they realized what had happened, no one, not even Philip, could save you."

"But- I… I did not mean to… I had so much to do…"

"No one means to die, but everyone does. As for the things you had to do, they are of little importance now."

"But… My child, Roxana! Drypetis! I swore to you that I would look after her!"

"It is someone else's worry now. Come," extending a calm hand, Hephaestion turned as if to go from the room.

Alexander tore away, something he had never done in life, confused and angry, "No! I swore to you I would take care of her! Now she has no one!"

Hephaestion's face darkened, and the anger that seemed to crackle through and around him made the look much more frightening than it had been when they were alive, "You should have considered that when you were drinking yourself into the depths of Tartarus! I am not to blame! It is only you who caused such problems for yourself and the people you claimed to love!"

"I never meant to hurt you!" Alexander begged.

"You did, just as you have everyone else here now! You did hurt us! And now you can not remedy your mistake," Hephaestion had calmed slightly, but his gaze remained hard and steady, "It is no matter," he sighed, looking over at Bagoas, who was still weeping, "Everyone we cared for besides a few will soon be dead and with us."

Alexander could not contain his horror, "NO! Say it is not true, my dearest Phai!"

"It is the gods' plan. Not even you, as you are now, can change it. Our legacy will be dead long before we are cold in our tomb."

"No! I refuse- I have worked so hard-" Alexander became frustrated, and so the oil lamps in the room flickered under the force of his newfound energy. Bagoas shot up in panic from the bed, looking around the quiet room in alarm, but did not call out.

"Calm, you fool, or we will disturb the living!" Hephaestion hissed in warning.

That seemed to give Alexander an idea, for he stopped suddenly before rushing to Bagoas' side and trying to touch him yet again.

"Bagoas, Sirakan, can you hear me?" The young man gave no indication that he had, or even could. Hephaestion, watching all of this with his arms crossed over his chest, scoffed at Alexander's attempts to communicate.

"He can not hear you, Alexander. Nor can he see you. Only I have that pleasure."

Alexander whirled on his lover, all while staying close to the boy's side, "What is wrong with you? Where is the sweet boy I secretly had a hand-fasting with as soon as we became men at fifteen?"

"He died a long time ago, Alexander, long before my physical death. And it was all thanks to you."

"How? I never asked you to act in this manner!"

"Finding Bagoas, Roxana, Stateira, and Parysatis! Forgetting that that ceremony was binding and never acknowledging the date in the years after! Making me marry a girl I had no desire to marry! The only reason I married Drypetis was to make you happy! Everything I did, thought, and said was with you in mind! But you _never_ seemed to have me in mind, ever!"

Alexander was stunned to near silence, "I am so sorry, Phai… I had no idea-"

Hephaestion sniffed angrily, but was clearly hurt, "How could you? You only ever thought of yourself. And now I have to spend all of eternity in Elysium with someone I hate. My own personal Hell."

"You think this is easy for me to realize? I am dead, Hephaestion! Dead, no more! Finished! I had so much to do-!"

"Shut up, just shut up! Can you only think of yourself? I lost everything because of you! My self-worth, my dignity, my family, gone, all because of my king who swore that he loved me!"

"Oh please, you enjoyed it! You lapped up my attentions like a starving cat does milk!"

"When, Alexander? When did I ever do that? I built your empire for you! You were just a figurehead, parading your vast empire and wealth around!" By this point, the two were almost nose-to-nose.

"HOW DARE YOU! I-" just then their argument was interrupted by a faint sound.

They both turned to see Bagoas staring at them. They knew he couldn't see them, but Bagoas' dark eyes were dilated and he was completely still. Then he spoke in a thready voice.

"P-please do not fight… You deserve to be happy… Together…" he finished with a cough and a sob as he rushed to stand up and go out of the room, a hand covering his mouth to muffle the sounds.

Alexander and Hephaestion watched him go in shocked silence, and then followed through the hastily opened doorway. They found him in the hall, wrapped in Ptolemy's arms while the man worked to comfort him. Suddenly, Bagoas turned and pointed at them, seemingly answering a question Ptolemy had asked. Then the young man let a sob go and hid in Ptolemy's breast once more. Ptolemy gently detached himself from the distraught man, and waved Nearchus over as he moved to leave the room. Alexander and Hephaestion only stood where they were as their two comrades walked through the doorway and them as well.

Curious, Alexander and Hephaestion followed them back to their rooms and watched them inspect the bedroom and the body that still lay on the bed as if asleep. When they found nothing, they made their way back to the hall and Bagoas.

"There is nothing there, Dear. There is nothing to fear."

"But… I saw them! Eskandar and Hephaestion! I saw them! I am telling you the truth!"

"You're hysterical, Dear. We are all upset, it is natural. He was our king and friend-" He reached out to touch his arm, but Bagoas pulled away violently.

"I loved him! Why would I lie about that?"

"I never said you were, I- Bagoas!" As the young Persian ran from the hall.

Nearchus stopped his comrade from going after him, "Let him go, Ptolemy. We have funeral arrangements to make."

Having seen enough, Alexander and Hephaestion went back to their old rooms, where they found Bagoas curled on the bed sobbing, nestled against the cold, slowly decaying body that had been Alexander's just days before.

"I'm truly dead, then? My legacy means nothing."

"Not nothing, Love. Someone will remember you, will remember us."

"And what of Bagoas? What will become of him?"

"He will contract Typhus just as I did, as he helped you at my sick bed. He will die before the year is out."

"But he is not yet twenty!"

"Diseases care not for who they kill. King, peasant, magistrate, or simple commander; we are all the same in death. Are you ready to follow me now that you understand what happened?" He turned to Alexander, his hand open to take his.

"I suppose so, but I can't just leave him," Alexander worried, never taking his eyes from the thin, condemned, and weeping figure lying on what had been his own bed.

"He will join us all too soon. There is no need to hasten Hades and the Fates' work. Come, on to our new home."

With one last look at the now quiet, exhausted boy, Alexander submitted to his own fate and let Hephaestion guide him to Elysium, where they both would spend all of Eternity exploring as the young boys they once had been.

 **Translations:**

 **Sirakan = Sweetheart (Armenian)**

 **AN: I used a translator, so please correct me if this is wrong.**


End file.
